Dove in the Freezer

Doves must not be kept in a freezer.

I really hope that this was a widespread fashion for a while before the law came into place. Like everyone was sitting around sipping brandy and looking at each other, "Where's your dove, dear chap?" "In the freezer of course!" "Well played, dear chap... that's the height of fashion."

Then I hope the judge that made this a law wasn't allowed to their bridge game... so he did this in revenge. MAN! THIS WOULD MAKE A GREAT SCREENPLAY! I will call it: "This is what it feels like when Dove's Freeze." OR "This is what it feels like when judges cry."

The False Teeth Law

Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

This law is just perfect. The crafted wording, the amazing ideals behind it... I just think that everything about this law is perfect. I don't know if I want to go the blowjob joke route or the women who gets married just to get false teeth joke route. So I think I will go neither.

The Giraffe Telephone Law

It is illegal to tie your giraffe to a telephone pole.

You know that this one is there only in response to one dude who owned a giraffe and the shopowner who's store unfortunately lived right behind a telephone pole. I like to think that the giraffe owner's name is Jerry and that the conversation went something like this:

SHOPOWNER: Jerry! For the last time, don't tie that fucking giraffe to that telephone pole.

JERRY: Yo, it's a free country asshole... I can tie this giraffe anywhere I want!

SO: Not in front of my store!

JERRY: Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?

SO: (reaching for telephone book to look up the Vermont State Court) Oh, you'll see asshole... you'll see.

The beer and shot law

In vermont it is illegal to order a beer and a shot of alcohol simultaneously.

NOTE: I can't actually find this law online... but the bartender who told us so swore by it.

This just happened to me. In Vermont it is actually illegal to order yourself a beer and a shot at the same time. The waitress profusely apologized, but said it was the law. I have never heard this as a law, and I think it might be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Needless to say, my friend ordered a shot, drank it, than ordered the beer. Pretty easy to work around that one.